Bolo Zuban Kesari!

Did you ever get 5 extra marks for good handwriting after writing with an Apsara pencil? Did you ever get tall after drinking Complan or Horlicks? Did you ever get any job offers after using Fair and Lovely? Honestly, nothing of that sort did ever happened to me, ever in life, till now!

There's something about the Indian advertisement industry that we, the regular TV audience, do not understand. Even if the ad is damn annoying, infuriating and stupid, they manage to stay in our memories, due to their peppy rhythm, I guess! I have stopped watching TV since 3-4 years. But, some of the advertisement that I still remember due to their songs and taglines, which mostly are as stupid as the story lines are! There is absolutely no linkage between the product they are advertising for and the story!

Some of the ad stories that I find damn nonsense but catchy are-

 1. Fogg deodorants - Fogg chal raha h!

Every person had the same answer to the question- Kya chal raha h?, "Fogg chal raha h." 

It was considered funny and the person who answered was a self-proclaimed stud. Why the heck would you make an ad like that? I fail to understand, how did two soldiers from opposite sides of the border ended up selling a deodorant! 

This was at least different from other perfumes and deodorants advertisements- All other companies, just end up selling sensuality instead of their product! No-No-No, a girl won't barge out of your cupboard and onto you if you spray on Wild Stone deodorant!

                                                                                                                                     

 2. Slice- Aamsutra

 

For more than 7 years, Katrina Kaif has been trying to seduce a mango to sell a beverage. Human Logic will say that's not possible but, Slice begs to differ! But, much interestingly, sales graph of Slice's mango drinks agrees! Sales have increased after the Aamsutra campaign.

                                                                                                                        

 3. Whisper- Whisper out loud!

82% of the women in India doesn't have access to sanitary napkins even now. I would say, making an advertisement on the sanitary napkins won't make any difference, its just considered wastage of resources. Why not, use the same money blown out on advertisements to educate rural women and girl children about menstruation, sanitary napkins, puberty and hygiene? It would create a better impact and larger impact on the population, as in urban areas, we do have prevalent awareness. But, in rural areas, girls do use cloth napkins even now! 

                                                                                                                        

 4. Complan- For extra growing power!

Pehle ittu sa, itni jaldi kaise bhadgya? Akhir khta kya h? I very vividly remember this advertisement! Much interestingly, as a child, I use to believe in all this crap. It must be a co-incidence and your puberty that you thought was the magic of Horlicks or Complan! No one gets tall just by drinking Complan or Horlicks! It justs misleads us!

                                                                                                                        

5. Lays- Yeh game h taste ka!

Wafer and Hypnotism, best combo ever! Ranbir Kapoor wants to watch a cricket match but is stuck at a boring meeting. So obviously, he takes out a packet of lays and hypnotizes his boss to say, Yes.

I mean, that's what Lays do- HYPNOTIZE!

                                                                                                                        

 6. Ads promoting contraceptive.

Ranveer Singh is setting a bench mark for working in advertisements which are either nonsense or advertisements we get uncomfortable seeing on televisions positioned in our drawing rooms, with our families! All the advertisements promoting any kind of contraceptives, never-never spread awareness. But, are JUST full of sexual content and the actresses are just used for sensuality! These kind of ads are just made to make us uncomfortable! And, when these ads are shown, our parents turn to us as if we have directed the whole advertisement!

                                                                                                                

 7. Fair and Lovely- Unbeatable Fairness.

This is where racism and colour shaming starts from. The ad just means that a girl cannot get a job if she is not fair enough. Matlab, Kuch bhi! They have to make a advertisement, they make this crap. In the name of selling a product, what they sell is 'unbeatable fairness'. I really wanna ask Yami Gautam, Pooja Hegde, and even Deepika Padukone- Do you really use these product, have you ever even touched the products on your skin? Fair and Lovely DOESN'T give a kheela kheela nikhar! Period.

                                                                                                                        

 8. Kya aapke toothpaste m namak h?!

Imagine being in a supermarket, and you are getting your products billed, and suddenly the cashier started ripping off her clothes and turning into a reporter with a mic in her hand, asking you- Kya aapke toothpaste m namak h? The answer is- I don't care! But, that doesn't stop Colgate from making such advertisements! On the contrary, they are adding something new, every year, with the same namak. So, now the question goes- Ab chahiye namak ke saath deep clean ehsaas!? 

I mean, what the heck, are they trying to sell? Acchaar? or Toothpaste?

                                                                                                                        

9. Vimal Pan Masala- Bolo Zubaan Kesari!

Vimal Pan Masala has been celebrating 25 years of its existence for the last 5 years! Recently, however, they ended up featuring, Ajay Devgn in one of their advertisements, doing something weird with his fingers, towards every person passing by! I find it better because, he is the only bollywood actor who seems to eat Vimal Pan Masala!

                                                                                                                        

10. Ramesh- Suresh crap- 5 Star.

This ad is my personal favourite in the nonsense category! This is the crappiest advertisement, I could remember. 5 Star khaye aur kho jaayee! Firstly, my father would have kicked me out of the house, if I would have done something so stupid like that! Ek billan aur choti krdo, every time they take a bite of the chocolate bar, Matlab, Kuch bhi!

                                                                                                                        

 11. Naaptol- Fish Market.

Though they aren't a proper company type which sells a single thing. But, surely they are more annoying then normal TV commercials! Worst, they have their own channel, SITI cable people will relate. I wanna ask, why do they shout so much? They are OVERLY-ENTHUSIATIC for selling their products. There are 3-4 people on the screen, shouting at the top of their voices. They will definietly have someone, everytime on the phone call, telling them about their feedback, which is never bad!

                                                                                                                        

Despite their flaws and shortcomings, these advertisements manage to work and how! The very fact that we still remember and are talking about them, is a testimony to success!

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Comment down your favourite advertisement below, which you find annoying but you do have some memories of it!🤭